Heavenly Hugs Bears

At the bottom of some of Roxane’s emails I read the phrase, “A Child fills a place in your heart you never knew was empty.”  Once a child has filled that empty place in your heart, nothing else will ever fill that place again.  While a teddy bear will never replace the one we’ve lost, it will perhaps at least fill our lonely, empty arms and help to fill the awful void that’s been left behind.  

Roxane’s bear making started back in the summertime when she turned one of her dad’s shirts into a snuggly bear.  She even put “I Love You” on the foot of the bear.    The bear was a big hit with her daughter Haleigh who snuggled right up with it and fell asleep.

Roxane has probably sewn miles since making the bear she made from her dad’s shirt.   She said recently that she’s now able to make a bear in about 3 hours, and she’s been making them for many bereaved families.  She surprised me with an email one day about doing a bear in Jacob’s memory.  I plan to take her up on her offer someday.   She said in her email, “I was sitting trying to figure out how to covertly get my hands on one of Jacob's blankies and figured I should just ask you if I can make you a Jacob bear.” She continued to say, “I know how you love bears and what better way to say thanks for all you do than to make you a Jacob bear.”  I was really touched and started thinking of what I might be able to send.  That’s about the time the panic set in, I have never been able to think of any of Jacob’s things cut up.  I absolutely love what others have done, I think the quilts and bears are just beautiful, but it’s not something I’d been able to consider doing with Jacob’s things.  Another SIDS mom I know had a quilt made of her son’s clothes and just the thought of Jacob’s things being cut up for something like that made me start to feel like I couldn’t catch my breath.  I tried though, I really did.  I went into Jacob’s bins and started looking for something I could part with, something I would be comfortable being turned into a snuggly bear.  I ended up in tears and had to put everything away.  I looked through some other things of his with pretty much the same results.  Finally I had to email Roxane and tell her I couldn’t do it.  I half expected her to tell me I was loopy, but she didn’t.  Instead, she made me feel so much better.  She told me how hard it had been for others, and she also shared how hard it was for her!

Take your time. This is a very BIG deal. You know I have to cut the things up to make a bear and if you are not ready then you are not ready. You know as well as I do that we all grieve in different ways and where as it was easy for a few to send me blankets or clothes there are others just like you. Tracey had a blanket and drove around with it in her car for 2 months before she finally mailed it. Now she is happy she finally did it but it took a while for her to be able to. Connie sent me a blanket still in a bag that it was put in the night Lexy died. It had never been out of the bag and I was the first to touch it since it was sealed. I found stains on it that Connie did not even know were there. It was hard pulling out the blanket knowing that the last time it was used it was covering Lexy as she died and that was the same with Trey's blanket. I cried very hard making those bears. Some bears I can do with a smile and a lot of love and tears go into each one but some are just balls of emotion even for me and those were not my children. Cutting Alex's blanket took me about a week. I would start and stop and cut a few pieces here and there but it just hurt so bad deep inside to know that he should be dragging this blankie all over the place and here I am cutting it up. In time Lydia when you are ready I will make you a Jacob bear and until that time you know that the offer stands for as long as I am alive. I plan to be here a long time so don't feel bad if it takes a while to be able to do it. When you are ready I will need either 2 standard sized receiving blankets or one of the larger ones or I used 3 pajamas to make the one for Andrea. Like I said before I can always just buy some fabric and make you a bear. I promise it will be just as special. You just let me know when you are ready and do not feel bad for having a hard time.  It means a lot to me to make this bear for you.  I am looking forward to making you a Jacob bear. I know that it will be loved and cherished forever.

Anyone who knows Roxane knows one thing about her – she’s a sweetheart.  She made me feel so at ease about taking my time, and sharing with me that others had also had a difficult time with it gave me a great deal of comfort too.   

Here's a perfect example of just how sweet she is, a comment from Judy: "Roxane makes 'Heavenly Hugs' bears from say a blanket or 'onesies' that your baby wore - they are just beautiful. She had made a special one for me because I don't have any items of clothes left from my baby. Well, the first bear was sent at a confusing time, Roxane was moving around and it was getting close to Christmas and my bear never showed up. I was disappointed but Roxane being the treasure that she is made another one for me and I received it today - it's so precious and I just love it!!"

If you have any questions, please consult the Heavenly Hugs Bears by Roxane FAQ on the site where Roxane has answered many questions about her bears. If you have additional questions, feel free to email them to her at heavenly.hugs@gmail.com. There are pictures available too, just visit this page. There are so many they're on a separate page, and those are only some of the first bears she made, there have been many more since.

A Few Comments from Happy Customers and Onlookers

“Roxane made me a bear out of Vanessa's clothes. They are no longer sad outfits, but now are put together as a gorgeous bear named Sherbet. Roxane chose the name and I think it really fits her (the bear) well.”
- Andrea

“Aren't they just the cutest? These blanket teddies are the best things in memory of my little guy. Thank you, Roxane!!!!!  These bears are such wonderful treasures.”
- Rebecca

“I was having a hard time deciding if I wanted Brady's blanket to be all cut apart.  However, the blanket was just sitting on my dresser, I couldn't really decide what I wanted to do with it, so when I saw these bears, I just knew that was right!”
- Natta

“What a beautiful little bear!!!! Such a special little something that you can hold onto during those moments when your arms ache.”
- Leana

“I received Nome yesterday in the mail and she is soooooo beautiful!  She is a lot bigger than I thought she was going to be.  I hugged her for the longest time.  Roxane, you did such a beautiful job making her.  I can really see that a lot of love went into making her.”
- Lorri

“I love her and don’t even have her yet.  For those who don’t know the bear is being made out of some of Kayla’s clothes and her NICU blanket.  I love it so much cant wait to show it off to everyone. THANK YOU ROXANE. I love the way Pooh is on the foot and the NICU is on the arm. I can’t wait to love her with all my might.”
- Angie

“I love it.  There were some stains on the blanket from her spitup so we left them on the bear.  I hadn't touched that blanket since the day Lexy died and I folded it and stuck it in a baggy.  Roxane was the first to open it in almost 3 years.  Roxane is just wonderful.”
- Connie

“Thank you so much, Roxane,  I can't wait to hold him!”
- Diane

"I have to tell you what a surprise I got today when I went to lunch with Sybil, Roxanne and her had gotten together and made a plan to surprise me, it was truly a surprise I got a bear made by Roxanne that was so special with Madison on the print. It is so perfect and I want to say thank you so very much it is what I needed today more than any of you would ever know."
- Tristen

"I can't thank you enough for the precious bear that arrived today safe and sound ~ there are no words, I have already cried buckets since I opened the box, thank goodness I waited until I got home!!!, and after I read your letter I just lost it altogether. Please give your son Christopher a major big hug right back from me ~ it's so sweet cause the first thing I did when I had the box open was I lifted the bear up and into my arms just as I would a baby and hung on and it felt sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good. Then when I read that Christopher had hugged the bear before you sent it ~ well, how do you say big time melt down!!!! Alexander is so proud of you Roxane, you have given so so so so much and I hold you in such high esteem, for the person you are, but, also for all that you do for others, for your totally kind heart. Bless you from the bottom of my heart. The tears were both ~ tears of happiness, tears of joy that there are precious people like you in this world, and a little bit of sadness too ~ even though it's been along time I still miss my little guy sometimes who would be such a big guy now!!"
- Judy